4/25/04

Mourning into Dancing

Psalm 30
Acts 9:1-20
John 21:1-19

If you've ever doubted your worthiness before God, then today's New Testament lessons are for you. Both Peter and Paul become towering figures in the stories of the early church, and yet prior to this, both of these men exhibit serious character defects. At the end of Jesus' life, after his arrest, before his crucifixion, Peter denies even knowing him, let alone being his follower, let alone being his chief lieutenant, three times. He denies Jesus three times in his Lord's darkest hour. Paul, who comes on the scene after all this, is a brutal persecutor of the early Christians, literally dragging men and women out of their homes, and throwing them into prison. We would think that neither of these could be used by God in the future to do anything worthy or worthwhile, but they are. If they can be brought from a state of mourning and sinfulness into one of joyful dance by the love and grace of God in Christ, then there is hope for you and me!

It's Monday morning, a couple of weeks after Easter. The disciples' heads are still spinning from the roller-coaster ride of Holy Week, the crucifixion, and the unbelievable resurrection appearances. But now it's a couple of weeks later and reality is setting in. They're trying to put their lives together again, so it's back to work. Peter says to them, "I'm going fishing. Anyone want to come?" They all agree, pile into a boat, fish all night until daybreak, and they catch nothing. Nada. A stranger on the beach calls out to them to fish from the other side of the boat, they do, they catch a boatload of fish, Peter recognizes the stranger, dives into the water, and they all go ashore to enjoy a breakfast on the beach.

There is so much in this story that I could comment upon, but today I just want to focus on the first part of the conversation between Jesus and Peter. We remember that three times Peter had denied Jesus, and there's no question, he feels terrible about his behavior. He mourns not only the loss of his best friend and Master, but he also mourns the loss of his own dignity, his self-respect, his sense of loyalty. What he receives from the Resurrected Christ is unexpected and more than anything he could hope for - total forgiveness. Three times, Jesus asks him, "Simon, son of John, do you love me?" With each response the forgiveness and the responsibility deepens. "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you." And after each response is the command: "Feed my lambs ... tend my sheep ... feed my sheep."

Jesus is saying to Peter, and also to us, "You are forgiven for what is past, but the gift of my love carries a responsibility to put even more love and more light into the world." (i) And this is how Peter and you and I turn mourning into joyful dance, by doing something for others, by reaching out to the sheep and the lambs that need to be fed - and feeding them, literally or figuratively. Greg was in downtown Manhattan on his lunch break, and decided to buy a hot dog from a street vendor. As he waited in line he noticed a well-groomed man of average dress in his mid-30's leaning against a nearby wall. The man seemed to be waiting for someone. Greg paid for the food, got his hot dog, turned, and started heading back to where he had been seated with a friend, when the other man suddenly sprang forward and grabbed for his hot dog. Instinctively, Greg resisted and they began to scuffle. As the man tried to wrench the food out of Greg's hand, he began to scream, "Feed me, feed me" over and over again. Greg finally gained control and, pulling away, snarled at the man, "Get your own food."

Behind him he heard the vendor say, "Leave my customer alone; I'll feed you." "No," he responded, "I want him to feed me." Greg looked away for only a second or two, and when looked back, the man had disappeared into the crowd. Greg felt sick at heart, never more disappointed in himself. He had in his wallet more than enough money to feed 20 people hot dogs, and all this fellow wanted was just one. Acting on a natural human instinct, Greg didn't want anyone taking something that belonged to him. Then he remembered a piece of scripture from the Book of Hebrews: "Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing that some have entertained angels without knowing it." (ii) The scene, relived in his mind many times, haunts him still.(iii) Also in Hebrews is this counsel: "Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God." (iv) Indeed they are! And Jesus said, "Feed my sheep."

Another great story of God's grace is the one from Acts today, when Saul, later known as Paul, has his angry mourning turned into joyful dancing. We first come across Saul holding the coats of those who are stoning to death Stephen, the first Christian martyr, the namesake of Stephen Ministry. Saul quickly moves from being a willing bystander to taking an active part in persecuting Christians. He is a dangerous enemy of the new church, called "the Way," and is heading to Damascus to further spread his personal reign of terror, when he is knocked off his animal and flung to the ground. A voice from heaven rings out: "Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me? ... I am Jesus who you are persecuting." When he picks himself up, he realizes that he can see nothing - he is blind! In an instant, this once vibrant, resourceful man, this one who thought he knew so much about God, about religion, about big ideals, is rendered helpless, forced to be led around like a little child, forced to humble himself and receive healing and instructions from those he once thought were beneath him. (v) Humility becomes an important part of his transformation, and it is for us as well, as we also allow God to turn our mourning into dancing. In addition to Paul's humility, for those of us who wish to learn from this story so that we may be transformed as he was, there are three other dynamics happening. First, Paul submits himself to the will of Christ. We remember that Peter does this also in the conversation we talked about earlier. Paul hears the voice of Christ and responds to it.

This reminds me of an incident on that awful 9/11. In the smoke and confusion that followed the attack on the Pentagon, dazed employees looked for a way out of the rubble, and some of them fortunately heard a strong voice coming out of the smoke: "Listen to me. Listen to me. Follow my voice." The voice was that of Army Lt. Col. Victor Correa, attempting to lead his colleagues to safety. Submission to his voice came naturally to them, because they recognized it as the voice of one who cared deeply for them. (vi)

The second dynamic seen in the story of Paul (and also Peter) is the need to accept individual responsibility. Paul submits himself to Christ, responds to the voice, in humility allows himself to be blindly taken by hand, and through the ministry of Ananias and others, he accepts responsibility for his past, is healed, and prepares himself to be an instrument chosen by God for service to others. We know that Peter also humbly accepts his past and is commissioned by Jesus for even greater service.

Finally, we observe a third dynamic, going and doing. It is not enough just to submit oneself to Christ or just to accept responsibility for our past and for what lies ahead. We have to move from words to deeds, from commitment to practice, from talking about something to doing something. After Paul regains his strength, he immediately begins proclaiming in the synagogues that Jesus is the Son of God. This is his calling and he enters into it wholeheartedly. Jesus says to Peter, "Feed my sheep," and we know that this is exactly what Peter ultimately does, spiritually feeding those who are put into his care. What about us? Underneath the unrest we sometimes sense in our lives is probably a lack of purpose. We all crave to have a purpose in life. We throw ourselves into all sorts of projects, and then sometimes wonder why we are doing them. Life often seems empty. This is why, I'm sure, Rick Warren's book, "The Purpose-Driven Life" has remained for so long on the best-seller list. Warren suggests that the answer to the question, "what on earth am I here for?" is not found by looking within ourselves, but by recognizing that we are made by God and for God, and that our purpose in life is found, not in living for ourselves and fulfilling our needs, but in living for God, and doing what God wants for us to do. (vii) We need to remember who we are and to whom we belong. We are God's children and our hearts will not rest until they rest in God. We will receive that sense of purpose and value in our lives when we dedicate ourselves to God and commit our energies to doing God's will. (viii)

Have you ever heard of the "butterfly effect"? It's a term from meteorology that implies that even a small change in initial conditions can become amplified over time and create a large change in later conditions. An example is that if a butterfly flaps its wings in Brazil, it can create a storm in Europe or Asia. A tiny motion has far-reaching consequences. I don't know if this notion has scientific validity - maybe one of you can enlighten me after worship - but as a metaphor for what we've been discussing, it works. Jesus gave Peter and Paul responsibilities, not to bring in the entire kingdom of God, but just the lambs under their care and tending. But look what's happened these two thousand years since that breakfast on the beach and since that blinding light on the road to Damascus - small efforts have multiplied beyond measure. The butterfly effect has taken wing. We too are called to feed the sheep and tend the lambs. We don't have to be Mother Teresa in what we do, healing and feeding every street person in Calcutta. If we love Jesus, then we're to visit the sick or the lonely, pack food for the holiday baskets for the needy, teach the love of Jesus to children eager to learn, prepare a meal for a family in need, sing God's praises in worship either from the pews or from the choir loft, be ethical and compassionate in our professional work, cook, wash, and provide for those we love, give generously, financially and otherwise, to the important work of our church, give our lives away in even the smallest ways. We may never receive any credit for doing these things, we may never see any glorious results, but this is what we need to do, if we love Jesus. This is what he means by feeding the sheep. I believe that God will gather up all the small things we do, the flapping of all the wings of all the butterflies, and the kingdom will come. This is God's promise to us. (ix) And, if we love Jesus, and if we tend his sheep and feed his lambs, God will turn our mourning into dancing. This is God's promise to us also. Let us go and do. Amen.

The Pilgrim Church of Duxbury
Rev. Kenneth C. Landall

i Jean Holmes, Lectionary Homiletics, Vol. XV, No. 3, 4/25/04.
ii Hebrews 13:2.
iii Greg Bullock, "Feed My Sheep," quoted in Homiletics, Vol. 16, No. 2, 4/25/04.
iv Hebrews 13:16.
v Holmes, op. cit.
vi W. Douglas Hood, Jr., Preaching Word & Witness, 4/25/04.
vii Rick Warren, "The Purpose-Driven Life," p. 21.
viii Hood, op. cit.
ix Lorain Giles, Aha!, 4/25/04.