9/5/04

Beneath Outward Appearances

Exodus 17:1-7
Romans 5:1-11
John 4:5-30, 39-42

Since his son was marching with the local army reserve unit in the Memorial Day parade, the proud father with camera in hand, found a good spot along the parade route. As the troops approached, the father in vain tried to catch his son's attention, but each soldier in military precision kept his eyes straight ahead. An attractive young lady nearby, realizing the man's predicament, yelled out, "Hey, handsome!" Every soldier's head swiveled in her direction. The father got his picture.

Our sermon today has to do with self-image - the images of our self that we project to others, the masks we wear that hide our true selves from others, and often from we ourselves. Psychologists would say that it was their egos that prompted each of the soldiers to respond to the call of the young woman. Most of us are not strikingly handsome or drop-dead gorgeous, but very average looking. Yet, when we have our portrait professionally taken, we always insist on the most flattering proof, even if it's not the most life-like. Many of us have a hard time accepting ourselves for who we are.

Self-acceptance is hard to achieve. Too often we try to avoid our true selves; we run away from ourselves as did the prodigal son, and get lured into a "far country" of fantasies and at times, self-destructive behaviors. Some of us are so insecure with ourselves, have such self-defeatist attitudes, that we lose all enjoyment of life, trying desperately to be someone we're not.

Maybe we're like Joe, who enjoys going to parties, but has a hard time remembering the jokes he hears the next day. Problem is, while jokes are being told, he's trying to remember the one he is going to tell. And, he is constantly wondering: How am I coming across to others? Am I laughing enough? Do I seem interested? Is what I'm wearing appropriate? Many of us are like Joe, trying hard to make the best outward impression, but under the surface we're in turmoil, unable to accept ourselves. We deny our true selves, preferring what we think is a more favorable image. But such a denial of self is sinful, since we're stifling the true person God created, the reflection of God's image within us.

The Samaritan woman at the well has a rotten self-image, and probably not a great public one either. She's been married several times, and is currently living with a man out of wedlock (much less accepted then than today). Perhaps she's getting her water at the well on the outskirts of town because the village women want nothing to do with her and have banned her from the town well. But all this changes after her conversation with a Jewish stranger who calls himself the Messiah.

Jews and Samaritans normally had little to do with one another. There was outright hostility and contempt between the two groups (something like relationships today between Palestinians and Israelis). Because of their purity code, Jews considered Samaritans "unclean," and would never eat or drink with them. Further, good Jewish men, especially rabbis, were never supposed to talk to women in public, certainly not women of notorious character. But Jesus not only speaks to this woman, but he asks her for a drink of water.

No wonder she responds as she does. As a woman (automatically a second-class citizen), a woman of ill-repute (in the eyes of her contemporaries if not in her own eyes), and a Samaritan, she doesn't have anything to lose being flippant with this Jewish stranger. But Jesus does not give up on her. In their brief conversation he breaks down the barriers that separate them and frees the woman from her bondage to a crippling self-image. He treats her as a person of worth, even though he could have avoided her because of her outward appearance. He treats her with dignity because he sees into her deeper self, beneath outward appearances, and he accepts her as a child of God. Through his acceptance of her and the "living water" he offers, he is able to restore the image of God within her. (i) And Jesus does the same for you and me.

Self-acceptance for us, accepting ourselves for who we are, begins first with recognizing that we are worth something. At times we may think we have to establish our own worth or earn it, but not true. Our worth is given to us, no strings attached, as a gift from God. Only when we can accept the fact that we are worthwhile will we cease being self-centered and overly-concerned about what others think about us, and will we be free to give ourselves away for others. Until we discover our own worth, we have nothing to give. (ii)

Second, self-acceptance is also a matter of loving ourselves as we are. Jesus' commandment to love God and love our neighbors as ourselves is hard because we often find it so hard to love ourselves. But we really can't love others if we don't love ourselves. If we can tolerate ourselves, we'll be better able to tolerate others; if we can forgive ourselves, it'll be easier to forgive others; if we can love ourselves, we'll be better able to love others. Shakespeare put it like this: "This above all: to thine own self be true. And it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man." To genuinely love another begins in loving yourself as you are.

The third aspect of self-acceptance is being honest with ourselves. Most of us are honest and above-board in our dealings with others, yet we can easily be deceitful to ourselves. We're quick to judge others, to see their faults, while failing to recognize that the faults we see in them are so often the same as are also in us. We're quick to point out the speck in another's eye, while failing to recognize the log in our own. To be honest with ourselves requires that we acknowledge and accept our weaknesses as well as our strengths, to be realistic about who we are.

Self-acceptance is much easier to accomplish if we can believe that God in Christ accepts us. If we can truly believe this, life becomes a whole lot easier and happier. God accepts us as we are because God sees beneath the surface of our superficial self to a deeper level, the level where we're still in process, still being made in God's image and likeness. (iii) I had a T-shirt once that read: "Please be patient, God isn't finished with me yet." The outward appearance that you see isn't all there is of me - there's more beneath the surface - and God and I are still working on that.

I'm sure you remember the true story of the Elephant Man, made into a play and a movie. This man, Joseph Merrick, was described by a doctor who first saw him in a London freak show in 1884, as "the most disgusting spectacle of humanity I have ever seen ... a degraded, perverted version of a human being." Yet, beneath the horrible exterior beat a gentle heart, within the grotesque skull glowed a subtle, inquisitive mind. As a specimen of humanity, Merrick was repulsive, but his spirit was courageous and heroic. (iv)

Beneath the outward appearance of the Elephant Man hid a beautiful child of God. Just as the doctor's eventual acceptance of Merrick freed him to become a more fulfilled person as God meant him to be, so also does Jesus' acceptance of the Samaritan woman release her from her bondage and free her to share the good news with others. And so also can God's acceptance of us free us, not only to accept ourselves and realize our full potential, but also enable us to reach out to others.

If God in Christ accepts us for who we are, then we have an obligation to accept others in the same way. What a great world this would be if everyone would do that. It's possible, but it has to begin with you and me. So, let's look beneath the outward appearances in ourselves and others, and discover revealed there our true selves, the images of God within, welling up like a spring of living water, the gift to each of us from our Lord and liberator, Jesus the Christ. Amen.

The Pilgrim Church of Duxbury
Rev. Kenneth C. Landall

i Pulpit Resource Supplement, 3/22/81.
ii The Clergy Journal, 5-6/76, p. 44.
iii Pulpit Resource Supplement, op. cit.
iv M. Howell and P. Ford, The True History of the Elephant Man, Pulpit Resource, op. cit.