PILGRIM’S PROGRESS

November 2007

Dear Friends,

            September’s Pilgrim’s Progress marked a three-part series on The Role of the Pastor in the 21st Century.  September addressed the person of the pastor.  In October we considered the work of the pastor. This month our focus is the partnership between pastor and parish. Thinking about this is particularly important for Pilgrim Church of Duxbury as you move forward toward calling a new Settled Pastor. It is my role as your Intentional Interim Minister to prepare the way for this all-important future relationship. Since this sacred partnership between pastor and parish is a covenant rather than a contract, both parties must work together to ensure that it’s healthy, mutually satisfying and long lasting.

            This is particularly true in today’s church climate.  I mentioned in my first article that according to The Journal of Psychology and Theology, 1500 clergy are leaving the ministry a month across the country [Vol. 31 No. 4; 339-347].  Lyle Schaller, mega-church pastor and consultant points to the reality that the role of clergy has shifted over the centuries from “a high prestige, low stress occupation to a high stress, low prestige” occupation.  The reasons that clergy are leaving churches at such an alarming rate are complex, but one thing is clear:  Pastors need to care for their congregations and congregations must care for their pastors. 

                Alan Klaas, in his article “Clergy in Crisis” [The Lutheran Witness June 2001:6-10], concludes that a big reason for clergy dis-ease is “harshness toward pastors on the part of the congregation’s members. Everything from gossip, unfair criticism to antagonistic attacks” can make a pastor unlikely to continue in a pastoral role.  According to Ken Sande of Peacemaker Ministries, approximately 23% of these pastors are forced out and in most cases they don’t even know why [Strike the Shepherd:  Losing Pastors in the Church; byfaithonline.com].  To this point, Stephen Ministries counsels congregational members to refuse to start or participate in unhealthy conflict and to respect the pastor by dealing directly with him/her according to Matthew 18:15-17, rather than complaining, criticizing or calling secretive meetings.  [Pastors Caring for Congregations, Congregations Caring for Pastors; LTC/P-3007:  2005).  In the wise words of an Anglican Bishop, “conflict is inevitable, but combat is optional.”  Since the mission of pastor and parish is the same…to honor God and work for the common good of the church; it is in the best interest of both parties to practice Christian principles that promote a healthy relationship.  Such practices not only benefit pastor and parish but provide a model for Christ-like behavior to the wider church community.

            In light of this crisis among clergy, what are some ways that Pilgrim Church of Duxbury can begin to support the pastor that you call to serve you?  I’d like to offer some suggestions outlined in an article entitled, “The Sacred Responsibility” [Congregations; Winter: 2007]:

            First, trust your pastor with his/her time. In the words of the author of the above article:  “The pastoral task is not about efficiency.  Time in the office does not equate to ministry done. Hours reported have little bearing on the Kingdom work accomplished.  Personal time is needed:  time to grow; time to waste and time away from the church will benefit the church.  For pastors, Sunday is not Sabbath, but certainly the pastoral task requires Sabbath.” 

            Secondly, negotiate expectations and make them transparent and not hidden.  Becoming aware of both parties expectations is the first step toward bringing them into alignment.  Very often expectations are hidden rather than spoken.  They may be based on what a former pastor did, or on traditions that “we’ve always done this way.”  As one of my colleagues says, “hidden expectations become resentments in the making.”  Therefore, not only is a clear job description with clears lines of accountability necessary, but conversations that both clarify the cultural expectations and a willingness to negotiate on the part of both parties.  This begins to build a firm foundation of trust. 

            Finally, humanity is allowed.  Pastors are people. None of us walk on water!  And we must be allowed to fail.  No one is speaking of moral failure, but the imperfections that plague us all as fallen persons.  One pastor may fail at home visits and hit a home run with sermons.  Another may be a wonderful counselor, but be lukewarm in the pulpit.  Some are great with details while others are better at the big picture.  Susan Townsley, one of my colleagues in CT made this poignant point: Often I catch a fragment of a conversation that worries me. “We need a minister who is good at preaching, visiting, administration, and giving us a new vision, one who likes to do all these things.”  However, if you expect this of your next minister I say, God help that soul!

            In summary, I do hope that these three little articles on the role of the pastor have been helpful and informative for you. The relationship between pastor and parish is a critical one to the health of our congregations. Pastors need to care for congregations, but our congregations need to care for pastors.  In the wise words of Stephen Ministries, Congregations need pastors who will care for their members, who will lead them into Christ’s truth, help them grow as disciples and who will be Christ’s caring presence.  On the other hand, congregations need to pray for their pastors, respect them, honor appropriate boundaries, treat them as professionals and refuse to put up with members who promote gossip.  These past three reflections in Pilgrim’s Progress on the role of the pastor will form the foundation of a three-week class in the spring of 2008.  Make it a point to mark your calendar now for the following Wednesday evenings at 7:00:  4/30, 5/7 and 5/14.  Let’s plan to come together and continue to grow closer in this sacred partnership between pastor and parish.

 

                                                                   Serving Together, The Reverend Beverly Weinhold

 

 

         

Reminder:  Daylight Savings Time ends on Sunday, November 4!

 Turn your clocks back ONE HOUR Saturday Night

 

           

 

 

 

 

“Let Us Be Generous and Willing to Share”

Dear Fellow Stewards,

 

By now you have received your pledge card in the mail, and thank you to those who have returned theirs.   Hopefully you have seen our Narrative Budget flyer in the vestry outlining where Pilgrim Church money is spent.  You’ve read and heard that the goal this year is $448,000 and we’ve asked you to increase your pledge by 15%.  Yes, that’s a pretty bold goal, but this is a serious time for our church.

 

We’ve carried a deficit budget for a year now and if we stay the same, the deficit will be carried into next year.  Stewardship Sunday is November 4th; this worship service includes special music by our choirs and the unique and moving experience of completing our pledges of giving as part of a worship celebration.  Please, if you have not pledged yet, do, and help us reach our goal.

                                                                        Faithfully,

                                                                                    The Stewardship Committee

 

Like to knit?  Join the Prayer Shawl Ministry group on Tuesday, November 20 in the parlor from 1:15 – 3:15 PM. Bring 3 skeins of Lion Brand Homespun yearn (found at Michael’s, A.C. Moore, Joanne Fabrics) – your choice of color – and size 13 needles.  We meet the 3rd Tuesday each month.

 

Enjoy a cup of tea, conversation and camaraderie as you work on a prayer shawl which will bring warmth and comfort to someone in need.  Questions?  Call Maddie Merrifield at 781/837-8545.

 

Saturday Night 5 

 

 

Join us for a very special Thanksgiving service on Saturday November the 17th at 5pm.  Through music and the Word, we will gather to give thanks to God who richly blesses us.  This time of praise, fellowship and thanksgiving will be extended as we gather to share a meal with each other in the vestry.  Please bring a salad, dessert, or your favorite turkey dish for this Church Family Thanksgiving Dinner.  Friends are welcome!

PCCP: Did You Know?

The Pilgrim Child Care and Preschool (PCCP) Board is a nine-member group that includes a representative from the Board of Trustees and one from the Board of Christian Education. We are different from other church boards in that we oversee the operation of a business – a business regulated and licensed by the Commonwealth through the Department of Early Education and Care. Thanks to the excellent work of Director, Michelle Manganaro, and Bookkeeper, Dawn Kerivan, as well as the management and oversight provided by PCCP Boards over the past 10+ years, that business is financially sound and provides an annual source of revenue for the church through rent and shared expense payments. 

 

PCCP operates year-round, Monday-Friday from 7:00a.m. – 6:00 p.m., offering parents a variety of flexible scheduling options, including enrichment programs and summer camp. In addition to the Director, Bookkeeper, and Custodian, PCCP has a staff of 24 teachers and assistants and an active PAC (Parent Activity Committee) that meets regularly, giving significant support to the program, often through creative fundraising projects.

 

Eleven years since its inception, Pilgrim Child Care and Preschool continues to grow and thrive. We are proud to be part of providing such a valuable service to our church and our community.

 

 
 
 
Our Church's Wider Mission or OCWM, as we usually hear it called, is the financial support that each UCC congregation contributes to the funding of Conference and national ministries.  In turn, the Conference decides how much of its congregations' Outreach support will contribute to Our Church’s Wider Mission for the funding of national ministries.  Currently, 70% of every dollar contributed toward Outreach (also referred to as “missions”) made by you to Pilgrim Church is given to the Conference for OCWM.  These funds provide military chaplains in Iraq, irrigation pipes in the desert, volunteers for the blind, and learning opportunities for adults and children, just to name a few.  
 
OCWM has two components: Basic Support and Special Support.  Basic Support provides for the core programs of the UCC national ministries.  A few examples are Refugee resettlement, advocacy for human rights, Justice and Peace ministries and Disaster preparedness and response.  Special Support provides funding for specific mission opportunities through four different mission offerings throughout the year.  These opportunities are Strengthen the Church, Neighbors in Need, The Christmas Fund and One Great Hour of Sharing.  On each of these four Sundays throughout the year, an envelope will be provided in your bulletin for donations.  Last month, we welcomed Mr. Andrew Gustafson to our pulpit to share a message about OCWM.  Following that service of worship, he joined our committee for lunch and an opportunity for them to learn more.  If you have questions concerning OCWM please contact a member of the Outreach Board. 
 
The remaining 30% of your “missions” dollars are allocated by your Outreach Board to a variety of programs.  For 2007 we have a pledged budget of $18,000 for the year, but donations received to date total just over $8,000.  Please remember that every contribution you make has to be specifically designated with the portion you want going to “missions” (can also be marked “OCWM”).  We hope you will honor your pledge so that we don’t have to cut support to the groups and individuals that depend on us.  We thank you for your past and future generosity.
 

This past month we kicked off a new opportunity for outreach participation. As Rev. Weinhold addressed and raised our awareness of domestic violence, the Outreach Board announced that it has adopted the programs of Casa Myrna Vasquez for our support. Casa Myrna Vazquez is a Boston-based, multicultural organization dedicated to ending domestic violence in the lives of women and children through advocacy, prevention and intervention programs.  See their website (www.casamyrna.org) for more information. Our plan is to collect donations of items listed below and periodically deliver them to their facility. Please drop off the following items (NEW only, please) to the marked shelf in the hutch outside the church offices: alarm clocks, shower curtains, bath mats, bath towels, diapers and baby wipes, crib sheets, twin set sheets, pillows and blankets, and gift cards – Target, Ikea, Wal-Mart, Old Navy, Walgreens, Marshalls, Stop and Shop, Sears.  Please note that gift cards should be left in the secure drop-off box mounted in the church office hallway.

 

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Starting Sunday, November 18, the new Pilgrim Pictorial  directory will  be ready for  pick-up

after church services.  For those who had a photography sitting, the directory is complimentary.

For families who were not available for pictures  but  would  like a copy, one can be purchased

for $5.00 payable to Pilgrim Church.

 

The Duxbury Business Association is looking for teens interested in helping with the Holly Days events to be held on Nov. 25th in Duxbury.  All shifts are 2 hours.  This is an opportunity to do community service, while enjoying the fun of the Holly Day Festival.   Anyone interested, please contact Sue Rourke, at 781-934-5712.   

 

 

On Saturday November 3 there will be a Red Cross community blood drive sponsored by the Duxbury Masons/Corner Stone Lodge at the Duxbury Senior Center.     Appointments will run from 8:30 AM – 2:30 PM.  Call Jim Taylor at 781/934-2375 or the American Red Cross at 1-800-448-3543.  Visit www.newenglandblood.org for more information.

Christian Education Corner

 

As we enter November, the month of Thanksgiving, I pray that we all remember to be thankful every day for the very many ways that God has blessed us and shown His great love for us.  First Thessalonians 5:16-18 tells us to “always be joyful. Keep on praying.  No matter what happens, always be thankful, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.”  Amen!

 

During this month of Thanksgiving, I would like to express my deepest and sincerest gratitude for all of the folks that give of their time and talents to teach in our Church School and lead JYF and SYF.  When you see one of these teachers, join me in expressing your gratitude to them for the work that they do with our young people.

 

Kid’s Klub*Kid’s Klub – 4th, 5th and 6th graders will meet on Sunday, Nov. 11 from 2:30 – 4:00 PM.  The theme is Autumn Afternoon.  We will have some seasonal crafts, play some games and have Bible time.  Come join us for a real fun time!

 

JYF*JYF*JYF  - Attention 7th & 8th graders: put on your fastest running shoes and your detective hats as you hunt for fabulous prizes and surprises at the JYF Treasure Hunt!  This will be our one big JYF activity this month.  Join us in the vestry on Friday, 11/16 from 7-8:30.  Supper will be a treasure trove of fun food.  Reserve your spot by calling Mrs. Zisko @781-582-1875.  Get a clue, find a friend to bring-we'll see you at the Treasure Hunt!

 

SYF*SYF*SYF - Your classes this month meet on the 11th and 18th in the Parlor during Church School times.

 

Confirmation – Our classes for this month will be the 4th and the 18th after church.  Please contact me if you have questions about your inreach and outreach hours.  This month, you can help put together the Thanksgiving Baskets to help families who have had some tough times and you can get outreach credit on top of doing something good!  You can also help make the Pumpkin Pies on the 17th.  (See next page)

Mission Trip - 9th-12th graders!  I have been getting calls from young people who are not even a part of our Church who want to go on the trip!!  If you haven’t already signed up, you need to by November 11th. Our first fundraiser will be the Pumpkin Pie sale on the 17th and 18th after the Sat. and Sunday services.  We will bake the pies on the 17th at various homes. We’ll contact you with further details.  If you are going on the trip, you need to participate in the fundraisers.  Please call me if you have any questions.

 

Adult Christian Education - Our 2 final classes in the series “Essentials of Christianity” will meet on the 7th and the 14th at 7pm in the vestry.  See you there.                                                             With gratitude to God,

                                                                                    Rev. Eloise

The Pumpkin Pies are back!!  After worship on Saturday, November 17 and Sunday, November 18 our mission trip youth will be selling their home-made pumpkin pies for just $10.00 each.  Buy one for your Thanksgiving celebration and one to donate to the Duxbury Interfaith Council for their Thanksgiving baskets.  Remember, pies make the meal.  Thank you for your support!

 

Duxbury Interfaith Council Thanksgiving Baskets

The Duxbury Interfaith Council is again preparing the Thanksgiving Food Basket Drive.  This is an annual community effort to serve approximately 150 neighboring families in need. 

 

The ways to donate are:

Food: canned goods – yellow and green vegetables, cranberry sauce, canned gravy, 64 oz. 100% juice in plastic bottles, and packaged dessert mixes for quick bread, brownies or cake

Home-baked goods: cookies, brownies, squares, cupcakes, quick breads, pies

Turkeys: can be donated by calling Gladys Covino @ 837-3010.

Donations of  money:  Please make check payable to the Duxbury Interfaith Council and mail it to P.O. Box 1161, Duxbury, MA  02331.  The Interfaith Council is approaching this time of year with a bank account at the lowest it has been in more than twelve years.  They ask you to give what you can, and that every amount helps and is greatly appreciated.

 

Canned and non-perishable donated food should be placed in the marked baskets at the side entrance of Pilgrim Church through Thursday, November 15.  They will then be delivered in bulk to Holy Family Church on Friday, November 16.  Baked goods should be dropped off the the Holy Family church kitchen no later than Sunday, November 18th.

The baskets will be assembled at Holy Family from 9AM-3PM on Monday, Nov. 19th.  Turkeys and baked goods will be packed Tuesday, Nov. 20th from 9AM-noon.  Please consider volunteering to help sort and pack the baskets on these two days.

 

Volunteers are needed as well to help with loading the baskets into cars on Tuesday, November 20th.  Limited deliveries will begin at 2:00 PM.  Extra hands are always needed, for any amount of time you can give; and parents are welcome to bring children (more hands-more help!).   

 

 

The Senior, Junior and Bell choirs are now preparing music for that special Sunday at Pilgrim Church, Thanksgiving Sunday (the Sunday BEFORE the holiday) and hope to welcome some new voices/ringers for this day.  The Pilgrim Ringers, Junior Choir and Senior Choir are already rehearsing music for this Service.  By the time you read this item, the Senior Choir will be preparing Christmas music.  This is always a welcome time as there are so many "favorites" in the library of Christmas music.  All of our choirs would welcome anyone who wishes to participate in preparing and presenting music for this special season. Please do consider being a part of the music program if only for the holiday services. 

 

And, our Teen Choir is back!  Led by Diana Cybulska and Vivie Doughty, we’re looking for teens who love to sing!  Rehearsals will be Sunday directly after church in the choir room.  Call Vivie (781/837-6958) or Diana (781/582-8243) if you have any questions.

 

 

            Still searching . . .

The church is in need of at least one replacement piano.  We currently have three pianos; all are well past their useful lives and suffer from various problems.  Our primary goal is a good instrument for the sanctuary.  Rather than immediately try to raise funds and purchase a new piano, we would like to first explore the possibility of someone donating a used or refurbished piano to the church.  If you have one you think we should consider, please contact the church office and we will make arrangements to evaluate it.  Thanks for helping us make a joyful (in tune) noise.

 

 

 

 

I recently visited a patient in the hospital who complained that their pastor had not been in to visit them.  I casually asked, “Did anyone call them to let them know you’re here?”  The patient hesitantly answered, “well, no…but they should just know!”  My experience is that most pastors do not have the sixth sense to know that someone is ill or has a pastoral need.  This creates a dilemma, in that folks (especially in New England) are private about many things in their lives, but especially about health concerns and hospitalizations.  And yet, they want to know that their faith community and specifically their pastor is praying for them.  As pastors, part of the covenant with our congregations is to keep silent all confidences shared with us.  As an interfaith chaplain at South Shore Hospital, HIPPA laws of privacy legally bind me. In addition, as our care giving ministries of a Visitation Team and Stephen Ministers grow to a deeper level of care, confidentially is the cornerstone of building a Christian care giving relationship.  One way we can begin to serve each other more fully is to simply ask, “may I call one of the Pastors or Stephen Ministers and let them know what is going on with you?”  Asking permission empowers someone who might be feeling physically vulnerable to make decisions regarding information.  Our new phone system, while it might seem a little cumbersome to learn, supports our commitment to respecting privacy.  If you know your party’s extension you can override the message and dial it immediately.  My extension is 110.  May peace be with each of you as we anticipate this beautiful season of thanksgiving.

 

                                                                                          Blessings, Rev. Peggy

 

 

 

Pilgrim Women’s Fellowship

 

My motto may be “a day late and a dollar short,” but here nonetheless is a great way for women of the church to get together and enjoy a meal – the Ladies Lunch Out.  We’ll meet on Thursday, November 15 at the Wildflower Café at noon.  To be included in reservations, call me at 934-6474 or you may just “show up” if you prefer.  I’ll be happy to send you a personal email for future Ladies Lunch Out dates – just call or email me at brayer.c@gmail.com.  Let me know what days are convenient for you or places you’d like to try.  See you at the lunch table! 

                                                                                    Colleen Brayer

 

On Monday, November 12 at 7:00 PM, Koinonia will meet at the home of Elaine Guilfoyle.  All who are on the spiritual path are welcome.  Questions?  Call Elaine at 781/934-9648.

Bookworms continues to meet on the 4th Tuesday of the month at 1:30 PM in the church library.  The November book selection had not been made by press time for the newsletter, but you can call Jean Whalen (781/934-5420) or Marion Paulson (781/582-3738) to find out!  All readers are most welcome to join us.

 

PARISH POST

 

Prayers of Healing  - Grace Poellmitz -   Priscilla Sangster

Olive MacQuarrie

 

Prayers of Comfort and Solace

For the family and friends of  John Fiske, David Fiske’s uncle.

For the family and friends of William Poellmitz, Grace Poellmitz’s husband.

For the family and friends of Med Hornecker, Beth MacLeod’s husband.

 

Prayers of Joy

For the marriage of Jeremy Tod Unger and Caitlin Brooke Hadley, Bruce and Heidi Hadley’s daughter.

For the birth of Ryan Thomas Leach, new grandson of Barbara and Gordon Leach.

 

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Help Needed - As any of you who attend Sunday worship service on a regular basis know, we have a somewhat temperamental sound system.  It serves its purpose for the most part; but over the years has taken to sporadic “episodes” where the pulpit or lectern mike decide not to cooperate.  The Church is seeking the help of someone in the congregation with some knowledge or expertise who might be willing to look over the system we have in place, and make a recommendation as to what might solve our problem.  It is not necessary to be an expert. If you are able to lend a hand, please call the church office (934-6591).  Thank you!

 

Adult Fellowship is planning a number of events, starting with a Bowling and Pizza Night on Saturday, November 10.  We’ll meet at Alley Kat Lanes at 6:00 PM, then compare scores (and gutter ball count) over pizza at Colleen and Tom Brayer’s.  Then in December we’ll celebrate the holidays Pilgrim Church-style with our annual Progressive Dinner (see note below).   In February, a Potluck Supper is planned.  If you would like to help organize these fun events or have ideas for others, call Colleen Brayer at 781/934-6474.

 

Mark your calendars for Sunday, December 16 for our annual church-wide Progressive Dinner.  The schedule will be:

                        5:30 PM appetizers – 2 houses

                        6:30 PM dinner – approximately 6 to 8 houses

                        8:30 PM dessert – 1 house

                        9:00 PM twelve days of Christmas finale

Sign up will be in the vestry on Sundays and on the Adult Fellowship board.  Please call Greg Hunter (934-2245) or Colleen Brayer (934-6474) with any questions.  Come alone, come with your spouse, come with a friend – just come and enjoy!